Apple Sells Apple, Bush Wasn't Blamed, and Change Happens

The BeatlesA Hard Day’s Night: Yesterday, Apple promised with a teaser on its website that “tomorrow is just another day. That you’ll never forget.” Sentence structure aside the Apple fanboys were excited. What could Apple have up its sleeve this time around? iTimeTravel? iProphecy? Nope, iLetDown. Guess what? Now you can purchase The Beatles catalog on iTunes. This is exciting news to basically no one. I’ve been listening to The Beatles on my iPod for years now.

He Should Have Blamed Bush: At a Comerica Bank in Naples, Fla., a crazy person named Phil Nguyen intentionally crashed his car into the bank. His reasoning?

Nguyen believed the CIA did this by giving clients at the Naples Grande Beach Resort radiation guns, the report said. He also told police he thought he would die shortly thereafter.

Not so much. The correct answer we were looking for is… President Bush, who is to blame for everything.

As the World’s Climate Changes: The greatest thing about the unproven theory of man-made global warming is that no matter how the climate changes it’s because of CO2. Lately, the world has been experiencing colder winters and no alarming change in worldwide temperatures. What could possibly be causing nothing to happen? You guessed it, global warming.

Climate change could lead to colder winters in northern regions, according to a study by the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research on Tuesday.

Vladimir Petoukhov, lead author of the study, said a shrinking of sea ice in the eastern Arctic causes some regional warming of lower air levels and may lead to anomalies in atmospheric airstreams, triggering an overall cooling of the northern continents.

I think it’s the other way around. Change occurs after something changes, not before. Or maybe the Earth has always changed? Is that possible? Is there anything global warming cannot do? It heats, it cools, it rains, it droughts, it doesn’t happen and it happens all at the same time.

Rape Rape: Here’s a video of Whoppi Goldberg explaining her sanctimonious walk-out on The View when Bill O’Reilly happened to point out the 9/11 terrorists were Muslim. This is typical of the intolerant Hollywood left. It seems perfectly reasonable for TV shows to cast all pro-life supporters as insane clinic bombers. There seems to be no outrage at the stereotypical typecasting that all Catholic priests are molesters. Even my new favorite show, The Walking Dead, has a stereotypical Redneck racist and there’s no harm done. It’s hilarious to me that someone like Goldberg who thinks raping a 13 year old girl is no big deal is outraged by a meaningless remark by Bill O’Reilly. I mean, really?

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